Tear Down the Barriers!

From the Desk of Sister Pantsuit:

Sisters Unite!  I wanted to update you on the PROGRESS we’re making all around the country.  I am just returning from running a week long “Discover Your Inner Womyn-Priest” Retreat.  I am pleased to report that Papa Frank has really envigorated senior womyn (both biological and transitioning) to stand and demand justice.  I want to share with you what we did on the retreat so you can plan to attend next year:

Monday:

• 17:00 Gathering and assembley meal.
• 18:00 Exchanging of grievance cards so all present are made aware of everyone’s victimhood memberships.
• 18:30 Committee Meetings and General Assembly Voting to adopt platforms of solidarity with oppressed communities of the world
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by local Buddhist Bhikkhuni)

Tuesday:

• 09:00 Vegan Gluten-Free Pancake Breakfast
• 10:00 Spiritual Session 1: “The Art of Zen”
• 12:00 Lunch & Lecture: “Oppressed?  You are more than you Feel”
• 14:00 Spiritual Session 2: “Healing Crystals, Healing Hearts”
• 16:00 Complimentary Homeopathic Health Screening
• 17:00 Dinner & Lecture: “Leading Your Parish: Self-Actualization for the Modern Womyn-Priest”
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by local episcopalian priestess)

Wednesday:

• 09:00 Bingo Breakfast (Proceeds pooled to fly Sister Pantsuit to the UN Global Warming Conference to be held later this year).
• 10:00 Spiritual Session 1: “Praying Away History, How to Use Poorly Understood ‘Eastern’ Spiritualism to Avoid ‘Real Prayer'”
• 12:00 Lunch & Lecture: “Presenting A Diverse Parish: Eliminate Men From Leadership Roles”
• 14:00 Spiritual Session 2: “Praying with Sand”
• 16:00 Political Action: One Hour Sacrificed to Call Your Representatives to Demand the $15.00 Minimum Wage
• 17:00 Dinner & Lecture: “Ministries: It’s Important they SOUND Important”
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by local wiccian priestess)

Thursday:

• 09:00 Breakfast Burritos (In Solidarity with Papa Frank’s Migrants).
• 10:00 Spiritual Session 1: “Using Deep Breathing to Alter Your Aura'”
• 12:00 Lunch & Lecture: “Protesting with Vigor and Artificial Hips: YES YOU CAN”
• 14:00 Spiritual Session 2: “Jesus in the Tao Te Ching”
• 16:00 Break-Out Session: Loving with Hugs
• 17:00 Dinner & Lecture: “Encouraging your Confirmation Class to Consider LGBT Lifestyles “
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by local Native American priestess)

Friday:

• 09:00 Steak & Eggs Breakfast.
• 10:00 Spiritual Session 1: “Heaven is Now”
• 12:00 Lunch & Lecture: “Red-Tape: How to Deal with Orthodox Catholics”
• 14:00 Spiritual Session 2: “How to Discovering the Equivilance of Your Daily Life to Great Saints”
• 16:00 Photo-Session: Nuns-on-the-Bus
• 17:00 Dinner & Lecture: “Intersectionality: Fully Comprehending All of the Reasons We are Oppressed “
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by local excommunicated priest and his husband)

Saturday:

• 09:00 Breakfast: Kale & Quinoa Twenty Different Ways.
• 10:00 Spiritual Session 1: “Imagining Yourself Becoming All You’ve Ever Dreamt Of: Not Just Day-Dreams Anymore”
• 12:00 Lunch & Lecture: “Discussion: Should We Embrace Quasi-Feminity with Skirt-Suits or Maintain the Linebacker Pantsuit Look?”
• 14:00 Spiritual Session 2: “Dealing with the Pain of Social Expectations: The Hurt is Real”
• 16:00 Political Session: Vote on Which Companies we plan to Boycott in the Upcoming Year.
  • 16:55 Political Session 2: Vote to Establish a committee to develop a feminist version of “Boycott”
• 17:00 Dinner & Lecture: “Obstacles: Don’t Worry About Work, Just Identify as a Person Who Can Overcome Them”
• 19:00 Sunset Ecumenical Service. (Lead by Sister Pantsuit)

Sunday:

• 09:00 Party Bus Departure to Resort Convention Center for the Casino Yearly Fundraising Appeal.

As you can see we had a blast!  We hope to see you next year!
Fight on Sisters,
Sr. Pantsuit, OSB