The world is a very scary place but some people chose to make it even more scary by writing long books with big words.  Here’s a list of the top 10 scary books:

• Mediator Dei  Ok, you got me it’s not really a book, but Pius XII is really mean about resurrectifixs, which I totes think are way less scary than crucifixes.  Also, he talks about wearing black vestaments which, although I’ve been told are slimming, seem very scary.
• Missale Romanum 1962  Super scary for bunches of reasons.  First, it’s like all in Latin or something weird like that.  Second, it doesn’t have many pretty pictures of happy children or butterflies or smiles or anything.  Third, I couldn’t find the part where we get all the lay-people to join in the fun.
• The Heresy of Formlessness: The Roman Liturgy and Its Enemy  This book makes it seem like my whole life is a lie.  It made me think uncomfortable thoughts.  You should totes stay away.
• Joseph Ratzinger Collected Works Theology of the Liturgy  So Benny keeps leaving copies of this on my desk…As if…right? I mean, it’s like over 600 pages long!  And all words!  And some super hard ones.

• Remaining in the Truth of Christ: Marriage and Communion in the Catholic Church  This is a super-duper bad book.  It’s pretty much the opposite of everything I’m working for.  I mean it has crazy stuff like marriage being a forever thing…even if the wife goes crazy or gets fat or whatever.  Seriously?  Also, it uses super judgy words like “objectively sinful”.