From the Desk of Cardinal Kasper the Unfriendly Ghost:
I’ve taken great delight in attempting to subvert and destroy Catholic Doctrine, Tradition, and culture. Frequently, however, I have run into problems with squirrely little try-hards who seem stuck on making the Church into some type of religious organization. They point to Tradition, Scripture, the Magisterium, Natural Law, and, all too often, St. Thomas Aquinas. He is the bane of my neo-hegelian existance. Well, I am here to tell you the non-believers of tomorrow’s Church will thank me because I’ve finally proven St. Thomas Aquinas to be wrong! We can live lives even more free of the constraints of morality, logic, and “Christian Dogma”!
Aquinas once wrote:
Nullus dat quod non habet
Paraphrased and morphed into:
Nemo dat quod non habet
Essentially ‘no one gives what he doesn’t have’. Well, Cardinal Kasper the Unfriendly Ghost has been thinking long and hard to disprove Aquinas. I’ve done it.
A Sad Clown Can Give Happiness
There you have it members of the Church Community. Not even the greatest mind of the patriarchal Church could stand up to my rigorous intellectual scrutiny. Now I’m off to spread the word that he was also wrong about the Sacraments!